Why is it that numbness is so inviting? We have addictions that are obvious and not so obvious.We have people buying things, wanting more, and feeling less. Why is feeling so difficult and scary and fucking obnoxious...and why do we run?
Why do we run from anything? Fear? Why does fear drive us to run so desperately from something that we'll do whatever it takes to not feel it, experience it, be it?
I don't have an answer do you?
Fear drives so much of what I do and though I try to fight it, fear often wins. Fear. Fear of not having enough, not being enough, fear that drives my choice in career, education, my life. I'm afraid of everything when I look at it. I'm afraid to love and be loved. I'm afraid to be too good and afraid to fail. Buy why? Where does this fear come from? Are we taught it from a young age or does it sneak up on us following an event or circumstance?
I mean I know a lot of my fear comes from my upbringing as does my distrust of myself. But I'm not sure why I still hold onto the fear, nor do I know how to get rid of it.
What are you afraid of and why?
Fear doesn't serve us well. It doesn't look good on you. How can we dismiss it from our lives while maintaining our sanity?